


Whose is better?

by sumChick



Series: Just some first chapters. [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Depression, Fine asses, Incomplete, M/M, One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, alien bug robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 21:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11837472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumChick/pseuds/sumChick
Summary: Steve wonders whether or not life is worth it, Spiderman shows up to save the day.





	Whose is better?

**Author's Note:**

> This now has a Chinese translation done by Art_y_an and posted here: http://chc72063.lofter.com/post/1d680359_1185d877
> 
> Thanks!

The Avengers were fighting evil bug robot hybrids from outer space that were trying to overtake the world by destroying New York… again. Steve Rogers was seriously tired of this, it happened every other week. Some new nutjob, alien, evil organization or any combination of the three, decided to take over the world by destroying New York. He wasn’t the only one that was sick of it. The people of New York, while loving the Avengers, had developed a strange kind of apathy to the whole situation. They didn’t even panic anymore.

Seriously, there was a pizzeria three meters away that was still open. Tony had commented on it; after the fight they were getting pizza. Tony’s treat because he was the only one with pockets deep enough to feed the entire team.

Steve however, wasn’t just tired of the destruction. Or the fighting. He was just… tired. Of everything. He kept waiting to go home… but there wasn’t a home for him to go back to anymore. Bucky was gone, Peggy was gone, Howard was gone. There was no one here for him. He felt like he’d lost his entire world and he hated it here. He knew he had to hold it together, he was the leader of the team and he knew they all looked up to him. The great Captain America. Somewhat distracted by his maudlin thoughts he threw his shield wrong and instead of rebounding back to him, it embedded itself into a wall that was a little bit too far away. And that wasn’t the worst part. He’d completely missed the evil bug robot that he’d been aiming for and now it was barreling towards him wielding razor sharp pincers. He was good at hand to hand combat but this was just ridiculous. There was no way he could fend off six flailing, super strong pincers successfully. This was it. He was going to die a bug alien robot death… not how he’d planned to go.

Steve found himself oddly reluctant to move. He could just stand here, a few seconds more, and it would be over. He’d join his friends and family, wherever they were. He missed them… so, so much. Maybe it would be better this way? He knew the Avengers would be fine. When he wasn’t around Tony wore the mantle of leadership well even if he denied it. As scatterbrained as he could be he’d successfully run a company for many years and Steve was actually surprised at how well some of those skills translated to the battlefield. Unofficially Steve saw Tony as his second in command. He trusted Iron Man with his life and he had faith that he’d pull through for the rest of the team.

Was this actually it? Could he actually leave this way?

Tight muscles and a glorious ass (he’d have to be dead not to notice – and he wasn’t quite there yet) clad in skin tight, red and blue spandex apparently decided that no, Captain America was not going to be dying on the pointy end of a bug robot monster today. One minute he was staring at a very cockroach-like doom and the next he was staring at a slim, muscled back. And maybe glancing at the ass just below the back. He couldn’t help it. The spandex on this guy looked like it was painted on and every curve was very finely defined. And those web patterns? Were not helping. 

The new guy shot web in the bug alien’s ‘face’ and then quickly climbed on the bug, circling it like a spider would and covering it in web. While watching this oddly acrobatic performance Steve realized who it was he must be staring at. Spiderman. One of (much to Tony’s great dismay) New York’s favorite superheroes, or vigilantes. Depending which side of the debate you were standing on.

Once the spider had webbed its prey he shot a line of web at Cap’s shield, pulling it from the wall and swinging it around in the same motion in a long arc, taking the heads off of two more roaches in the process. He pulled the shield back towards himself, ducking and twisting to catch it by the strap underneath before twirling around and smashing it into another bug monster. Effectively disabling four roaches in two minutes, while Steve stared on rather dumbly.

Spiderman turned to Captain America and all of a sudden his confidant posture was gone and he kind of sagged a little, shyly, and handed Steve back his shield. “Uh, thanks for the loan Mr. America. Sir.” His voice was very young sounding, also very nice. But it wasn’t time to think about that.

Reverting back to ‘Captain’ mode Steve nodded at him. “No problem son, you mind sticking around? We could use the help.”

The kid perked up. “Really? Sure I mean-?”

Steve saw the shadow of one of the bugs and he turned on instinct and took it out with his shield, he turned back to Spiderman only to see that another of them was approaching him from behind. He tried to call out but it was too late and the bug was too close.

Spiderman tilted his head slightly to the side. Then he moved much faster than Steve thought it was possible for him to move. He tilted his body and arched backwards acrobatically and the pincer that was meant to skewer him met only air. Spiderman reached up and grabbed the flailing appendage. The roach thing screamed and tried to pull out of Spiderman’s grip but it didn’t budge an inch.

Steve may have gaped a little. He knew that Spiderman was a super but this was something else. To see such a slim young man, hold onto a massively oversized alien with one hand… Steve cleared his throat and turned back to the fight. He was not thinking about what that kid was doing to his libido. He was not thinking about that kid’s amazing backside. Or pretty voice. Or flexibility.

It took another hour, with Spiderman’s help, to finish off the last of the bug monster roach alien… things.

“Pizza on me!” Tony called and the team let out a halfhearted cheer.

Spiderman hung back a little, reminding Steve of the awkward kid at school who never knew if he was included. He was about to speak up but Hawkeye beat him to it.

Clint walked right up to Spiderman and flung an arm around his shoulders, “You too arachnid, gotta take care o’ me spiders.” Natasha punched him in the arm as she walked past but she did give Spiderman what could have been a smile. With Nat it was always hard to tell.

“Fine,” Spiderman sighed with mock exasperation, allowing Hawkeye to lead him along with the others. “I mean it’s not like I have better things to do… I mean jeeze, who wants to eat pizza with all their childhood heroes?”

Clint grinned, “That’s the spirit! Stark, have you met Spidey yet?” And off they went, making introductions.

Steve followed them but this time… he was the one who felt like the awkward kid at school. But for him it was true. He didn’t really fit in. How could he? He was a relic from a time long past. Why couldn’t the ice have just killed him?

“Hey.”

Steve startled out of his depressing thoughts by a sweet but masculine voice. Spiderman was right in front of him.

Spiderman held out a hand. “I’m Spiderman. My uncle was a huge fan of yours and he used to read me all of your stories. I wouldn’t be half the hero I am today without you, so, thanks.”

Steve blushed and hesitated, what on earth could he say to that? He hated it when people did that. It made him feel awkward. It was worse when he was attracted to them. He didn’t know what to say but then Spiderman continued.

“But, despite what Deadpool thinks on the matter, I still think my ass is finer than yours.”

“Agreed!” Tony called out from where he was ordering pizza.

“Seconded.” Smirked Natasha.

Steve snapped his mouth shut, now surprised and blushing for an entirely different reason.

“Not that yours is bad, it’s very patriotic,” Spiderman continued and Steve could see him grinning through his mask. “But I mean have you even seen mine? That’s perfection right there. There are songs about it. I’ve heard them.”

Steve started to laugh, it was just a little chuckle at first but soon he was laughing with his whole body and he even needed to support himself on the wall. He was standing in some cheap New York pizzeria, covered in alien bug guts, being told his ass wasn’t as good as Spiderman’s.

“Ha, there we go.” Spiderman said under his breath and Steve wondered if he though Steve wouldn’t hear him? Not many people knew his hearing was enhanced as well. “Well hate to eat and run, bad for digestion and all that but-” The kid webbed a pizza to himself and saluted the Avengers. “I got places to be. Later. You all have permission to stare at my ass as I swing away.” He turned and winked at Steve, making him wonder how on earth he got his mask to do that, and said, “Specially you, Captain Rogers.”

Then he was out the door and swinging away through the city. Shield was already pulling up and starting ‘cleanup’. But Steve wasn’t paying attention.

He was too busy watching that ass swing away. Was it better than his? He watched Spiderman land on a building and crawl up and out of sight, oh yeah. That ass was fine.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole series is just a collection of random 'first chapters' that I've written while working on other projects. It's what I do when I'm stuck on something, I write a 'first chapter' of something else to get my creative juices flowing. I may finish alla these in time and I may not - you have been warned.


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